I’d like to fully acknowledge Adam ‘Fitzy’ the Evertonian for inspiring this post. The images were mainly posted by Fitzy_EFC on Twitter under the hashtag #KopiteBehaviour, although I should also credit Chris aka Oscar160974 for the brilliant expression ‘Full-kit Wanker’.
Whilst not wishing to steal anyone’s thunder, I thought these fantastically disturbing images of grown men wearing full Liverpool kit in a variety of scenarios – none of them, it should be noted, actually playing football – should be celebrated and collected in one place, so here it is.
1. First up might just be my overall favourite. The full kit with socks pulled up is bad enough, as is the ‘Gerrard 8′ on the back, but when you get to the shoes, you may well dance a little jig of delight. From the back, this even looks a bit like Stevie G, so I’d like to think he’s had to leave the match in his kit because the other lads engaged in a bit of ‘banter’ and nicked the skipper’s clothes. He’s looking wistfully at Betfred and wondering whether he should take their generous odds for Liverpool to win the title.
2. Next continues the theme of footwear. This tool isn’t content with modelling the horribly shiny Liverpool home kit from 2010-12, but is also sporting a new pair of Adidas boots whilst sitting on his bed as God knows who photographs him. Disturbing.
3. Two pictures of the same frightening individual next. This chump even feels the need to wear shin-pads as he sups no-doubt warm Kronie from the can. Stay classy mate.
4. Notice that he’s wearing an older Liverpool kit in the second picture, but he still has a can of Kronie on the go behind him on the sofa.
5. This guy seems to have got into the pile by mistake as it’s clearly ex-Liverpool midfielder Ray Houghton. This plastic Paddy is famed for his thick Glaswegian accent and having played his entire club career in England.
6./7. I don’t know if these two are the same bloke or not – I think they probably are judging by the terrible head-gear. Two things are certain though – he’s an absolute whopper and he loves King Kenny.
8. I like this next one – the bag makes it for me. I’d much prefer it to read “Calm down, calm down and carry On”, but alas, it doesn’t. Perhaps significantly, this is the first appearance of the new Liverpool kit from Warrior Sports, which proves that Full-kit Wankers are alive and well for the new season.
9. Back to footwear – this bell-end is wearing green wellies with his ‘Suarez 7′ shirt. Why anyone would walk around a supermarket with that nasty cunt’s name on their back is a total mystery to me, but the way of the Kopite is a bewildering path.
10. Suarez again next, this time partially obscured by the obligatory Chav standard-issue JD sports carrier bag. Lovely stuff.
11. Last but by no means least, this hobbit-like creature inspired me to utter just one thing when I first saw him – what an absolute gimp! That’s a London street sign behind him too. Maybe he’s on a trip down to Anfield South (Wembley), where they’ve played the same number of times as Everton since the stadium was rebuilt.
Final thanks go to those unnamed photographers that bravely risked the wrath of the venomous Redshite in pursuit of these images.